17 February 2017

There Can Never Be Too Much Love

“Yes, I'm adopted. My folks were not blessed with me in the usual way. But they picked me, they chose me, from all the rest, which is lots more than most kids can say.” ~ Shel Silverstein, Every Thing on It
G has been depressed lately.  I often find her staring off into space, and when I ask her how things are going with her, she tells me that she feels sad "for no reason."  I get worried that she might have inherited my dour disposition. 

As a result, I have been thinking a lot about adopting.  I just have not decided if I will adopt another child, or perhaps rescue a dog.  I know, I know.  A child and a pet do not compare, but both will require love and attention.  

Isn't love the antidote to depression?  I feel for G, living her childhood with just me, and growing up without ever knowing what it is like to have siblings or even a pet to love and bond with her.  Because she is an only child and only has me to talk to all the time outside of school, I feel as though she is mature beyond her years, and has skipped much of the innocence and playfulness of childhood.

If we had another child with us, someone she could grow up with, bond with and love, she might not feel sad anymore.  I had little time to feel sad when I was growing up because I was too busy playing with, bonding with, and even fighting with my siblings.  I want the same for G.

I am also open to rescuing a dog.  She loves dogs as much as I do, and it is proven that pets do wonders for one's health and emotional being.

Whether I decide to adopt another child or rescue a dog, both will add to my already stressful and hectic lifestyle.  But I am willing to endure whatever additional hardship it will bring to my life because I know that love is always worth it.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Nova,
    From my perspective as an only child myself growing up without the benefit of siblings I feel compelled to make a few points. Mind you I did not feel depressed except feeling unsettled at times in secondary school, until an interest in sport became a minor passion.
    My inclination is to say neither option may not be the answer. Better I think to ensure some interaction with other children as far as is possible but I wouldn’t get too hung up about that either. Feeling a bit sad at times can be part of growing up so long as it is not excessive, but what you have said about her expressing sadness for no reason in concerning. Keep trying to talk to her about it, but it may be some form of professional counselling is advisable. Having a passion about something like a hobby, sport, art, music or whatever might engender more positivism. Try and find out what she is interested in and likes doing to see if there is any way she can join others with similar interests. Having a few regular activities as you know is an antidote for anxiousness or melancholy. I am sure you have the wisdom to share with her how such things can help in getting through bouts of worry or anxiety that we all encounter from time to time.
    Although a pet might be a great idea for most children I would have also thought she would have been asking or even pleading for one by now. I also think it is unlikely an adoption would be the answer and conceivably might even make things a lot worse.
    Best to try and figure out the reasons and continue to offer support, inclusive of outside help if it continues on for some time.
    Best wishes

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your insight, Lindsay. I always appreciate your words of wisdom. It's highly unlikely that I will adopt a child, at least in the near future. My life is so hectic as it is. I suppose it's just wishful thinking really, as I had been wanting to have another child so badly. And at this point, even a pet would not fit in our current situation. G has a lot of activities and interests which I allow her to pursue, but it is during the down times, as limited as they are, that she feels this sadness. I have brought her to a therapist, and she seems to be opening up during those sessions.

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