20 May 2016

California Trip; Series of Unfortunate Events

“Why don't you go on west to California? There's work there, and it never gets cold. Why, you can reach out anywhere and pick an orange. Why, there's always some kind of crop to work in. Why don't you go there?” ~ John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
So much has happened since my last entry.  The biggest event that happened was that G and I, along with my cousin, C, took a quick trip out west to California in April.  We went to visit my cousin, Ivy, and her three young sons. She was widowed last year when she came home from work one evening to find her husband dead in their bed.  It was tragic, and even more so as she was at that time twenty weeks pregnant with their third child.

She was featured on The Talk.  Her tragic story can be viewed here:



She has been extremely strong in the face of extreme loss and tragedy, and her faith in God has never wavered.  I salute her, as I have crumbled in lesser challenges.

Our main purpose for visiting California was of course to visit my cousin and offer whatever support we could give, even if just emotional, and despite the rather grey circumstances, we ended up having an amazing time.  It was nice to reconnect with my cousin, and it was nice for G to to spend some time with her cousins.

Ivy and her sons live in what I call Central California, somewhere in between Los Angeles and San Diego. Although I lived in California when I was younger, I had never been to San Diego.  As such, we took a side trip to San Diego and met with some blog friends who I have "known" since 2003.  It was our first meeting. I already love these friends, but it was so special to finally see them in person after over a decade of online friendship.

Here is a little video collage of our trip:



This month of May has been challenging.  Earlier in the month, I had made it my mission to take G to a particular park to get a view of the Manhattan skyline sunset.  While I was able to make it to that park, I was not able to leave in style.  My car got a flat tire as I was leaving the park, and it took over an hour to finally get the spare tire (donut) installed.  As I was driving home, wouldn't you believe it, but then the spare got a flat!  Unbelievable bad luck and timing.  Fortunately, I was able to catch the favor and grace of a friend who came to my rescue.

The following week, on Mother's Day actually, I started to feel very ill.  I was at the tire place getting my brand new tire installed and my wheels aligned when I felt as though I was going to faint.  I made it home just in time before I collapsed into my bed with a high-grade fever.

I was incapacitated and delirious for the next three days.  I was so weak, I could barely even sit up in my bed.  Poor G.  I couldn't even take her to school on that Monday.  I did not make it back into my office until that Thursday.

In the middle of all that chaos, I had a falling out with a friend.  Prior to my becoming ill, she had asked me to borrow some money for another crisis she was having with her family overseas.  She has a history of constantly borrowing money, and as usual, she promised to pay me back as soon as humanly possible.  I reluctantly agreed to lend her some money, but then I had become deathly ill, and so my promise to lend her money was soon forgotten.

I did not hear from her during the entire time I was sick, but I finally contacted her when I was recovered enough to make contact again with the public.  She responded with a text telling me that she was angry at me for not lending her the money when she needed it, and I told her that I had fallen very ill, and that I had totally forgotten about the issue.  She was still angry and she said that I was mean for saying yes but not following through with it.  I then reminded her that she in fact was still in debt to me for a few thousand dollars, and that she really had no right to be so angry with me.  She responded that she was tired of me hanging her debt over her head and that being my friend was "exhausting."

I was in no mood for her text rants and ended it by saying that I was done with her "friendship" as well, and that her conscience should tell her how much she should pay me back.  She owes me close to five thousand dollars.  I have a feeling I will never see that money ever again.

It is never a good feeling to end a "friendship" no matter how real or true it is, but I feel good that I am finally moving on from a relationship/friendship that was so toxic.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Nova,
    What a mixed time you have had and I must emphasize at the outset you can be very proud of yourself in the way you have handled all of these challenges. I enjoyed watching the video of your California trip all of you look so lovely and happy in the video.
    Unfortanely the other one about the tragedy surrounding your cousin with her three young sons, wasn’t working, but I read enough to possibly understand the tragedy.
    I think it was great that you took the time and effort to support your cousin at this time –I would think it would mean a lot to your cousin.
    Best wishes

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  2. I love the video collage you made! Unfortunately the video for the show didn't work but how sad for your cousin. I'm glad you got to go there and make happy memories.

    And yeah, I have a friendship of 30 years imploding at the moment. It's not going to work and I've got to let her go.

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  3. So many complexities to human relationships. It sounds like this person has been taking advantage of you, but maybe they hadn't realised.

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