I've been talking to a few men lately. Nothing serious. It has all just been a lot of talking and text messaging. I am definitely in no good mental state to be talking to anyone in any capacity, but I have to admit it has lifted my busted ego to be chased and complimented. I realized that ever since he cheated on me, I have gone back to my old, insecure ways and have felt very undesirable and unwanted. I post numerous self-portraits of myself on social media sites, in the hopes of getting compliments. It has worked, and I have been receiving many messages from men complimenting my looks, and while it momentarily gives me a sense of happiness, the long term effects have not been so positive. I am left feeling cheap and low, having resorted to shameless ways to receive attention.“It's funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It's like they think it won't ever change. Just like this house here. All it ever needed was a little attention, and it would never have ended up like this in the first place." ~ Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding
As of late, young men have been approaching me. Within the last two weeks, every bloke that has approached me has been under the age of thirty. One was even under the age of twenty-five. We both calculated that he was born one year after I started university. It got me thinking: why when I was twenty-four, no one my age ever appreciated me? And more importantly, why didn't he appreciate me, when so many others now, some younger and more virile than he, are giving me the attention he stopped giving me, and appreciating me in the way he no longer felt?