13 July 2011

Burning

"There never can be a man so lost as one who is lost in the vast and intricate corridors of his own lonely mind, where none may reach and none may save." ~ Isaac Asimov, Pebble in the Sky
The summer has been brutally hot.

Outside, my skin literally feels like it's on fire.

Inside, I am also burning.

To be set free. To feel alive. To just feel.

(photo source: Google Images)

I found out the other day that my friend's cancer is on the move. They found traces in the brain.

I brace myself for the worst and wish for the best.

I float from one space to another. Staying grounded is becoming increasingly difficult. Yet I am weighed down by Life and disappointments. I am angry and numb at the same time.

I prepare myself for the strong possibility of pain and loss.

I harden my heart and darken my feelings.

But I also long for softness and light.

I feel heavy and chained. I want to be light and airy.

I have been working long days and am exhausted at night. I crave rest and peace. Sleep. Beautiful, dream-filled sleep.

I will take off three weeks in August. To rest. To rejuvenate. To find myself. And to find a place where I can rest my feet solidly on the ground.