30 October 2008

Life and Shoes


Central Park, NYC
10/25/08


I walked around the UES Saturday afternoon in an attempt to do some soul-searching. Some may disagree, but I find it easier to think when I'm in the heart of the city, amidst the crowds and the sounds of life and bustle. Ironically, I used to retreat to the peace and quiet of the Maryland suburbs to sort out my thoughts. Lately, however, I have realized that the energy and vitality of New York City is where I feel most at home, and where I can feel alive and inspired.

Most of the people who love me and care about me are in Maryland. I have a strong support system down there. My past is all there.

This past month, I tried to reconnect with my past, and re-establish myself back in Maryland. I made myself go back to my old routines: giving up my weekends to go back to early Saturday morning kung fu workouts, and hanging out with old friends.

It felt good at first, warm and comfortable. Like an old shoe that is worn and molded to your foot. When you first slip it on, it feels great, maybe even soothing to your feet. But after walking around in it for some time, you realize that your feet may have grown accustomed to another pair, and suddenly, that old pair just feels outdated. And old. You realize, sadly, that you've outgrown that pair, and you put back on your new pair. The new pair is cleaner and more modern. More like the you that you are now. The new pair fits you just right. Not worn in or out. It just feels right.

I tend to hang on to old shoes for long periods of time. I stick them in a back closet or in storage, and wait for a time and season when they may be appropriate to wear again.

But at this time in my life, I enjoy wearing my new shoes. They're hip, fun and they make me feel young and alive - as if I have a future. Wearing my old shoes make me feel like I haven't progressed or that I haven't been anywhere. My old shoes are only meant to be worn there and nowhere else. They are not tough enough to withstand all that I have experienced in the last few years.

They were good and they served their purpose when I needed them. But it's time for a new pair - ones that fit me, now and for the near future.

But that doesn't mean that I will ever stop loving my old pair, for they have brought me to where I am now.

13 comments:

  1. Yeah, you can't ever go back, can you? And it's hard when you're feeling uncomfortable where you are to know that the past isn't better, just familiar. But those new shoes get broken in eventually, and you'll feel great knowing how hot they look!

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  2. I totally agree. I'm currently breaking in my new pair of shoes. They look good now, but will take some time to break them in so they'll be comfortable as well. ;)

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  3. well, i am a very sentimental person and in my opinion, no matter how dirty and rugged looking that new shoes maybe in the future, you'll still end up seeing the same pair of shoes you are looking now.

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  4. it sounds like you're facing your future, whatever it brings, now that you've tapped some reserve from the past.
    wear the new shoes. i think for you they are going in the right direction.

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  5. It's one of the uncoolest things about the universe that we can't go back in time. Still...

    Montgomery County rules!!!!

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  6. Someone said, dont give her milk... Thats actually a good advice.. Let her sit at the table whene you eat, let her try your food. She will eat whene she is ready for it!!

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  7. i did a google on 'searching for souls' (since you were soul searching) and found a story from The Onion (published in 2004) regarding Yahoo's development of a powerful search engine "tool that reveals what's deep inside your heart."
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30522

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  8. Nice metaphor Nova. Does that mean you're coming to grips with both lives?

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  9. i tend to hold on to things, regardless of their use, because of sentimental value or memories attached to them.

    shoes just fascinate me.

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  10. This explains why I sometimes go barefoot. ;D

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  11. A skilled craftsman can integrate elements of an older, traditional design into a newer, modern work of art. The result is comfortable, familiar yet modern and more hip.

    Maybe you just need a newer, slightly used set of shoes :-)

    Dirk

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  12. I am not such an addict when it comes to shoes, well it's not really typicall for men to be addicted to shoes (for men's shoes are way too expensive than those of the women, right..hehehe)...

    But when I think it's already time for a new pair, I would just give my old pairs of shoes (since they are still useable) to my younger newphews because their moms can't afford a new pair for now...

    so i still get to see my old pair of shoes sometimes.. isn't that great?

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  13. That's exactly why I can't move back to the Bay. How are we so alike?! Sheesh! ;)

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