29 September 2008

Weeds

"The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener on the side you water." ~ Unknown

I've spent some time watering this "other" side, and all that has grown so far this week have been weeds. I stood on the other side of the fence, looking at this side, and saw a lush garden, full of life and hope. So, I jumped over to this side from the other side. I couldn't wait to enjoy this garden, but as soon as I got here, I realized that what I had thought to be green, rolling hills, are actually rocky, barren inclines. It's not too late to jump back over the fence again, but there is little honor in retreating.

So, for now, I will continue to tread through this desert trail that I have started to travel. I just have to believe that there is some higher purpose and reason for why I came to be where I am now.

Next time, I'll learn to stay on the side of the fence where I am already. Of course, hindsight is always crystal clear.

13 comments:

  1. sometimes you have to try many places to find the one that suits you best. different flowers thrive in different environments, different soils, with different watering patterns. the trick is to know what it is you need so you can plant yourself in the right place.

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  2. Nova, the way you describe life is beautiful and poetic, although quite sad... I hope you'll find your lush green garden very soon!!

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  3. You discribe things so sad... I hope that you will find the garden ment for you. And I hope that I will as well =O) Maybe you should stop looking back for a while and start looking forward... Back is bad ;O) Se the nice things you have in youre life right now. Your girl?? A home?? Work?? Family??

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  4. Girl, just give it time, it will come together. things just don't fall into place right away, you have to make them fall into place for you.

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  5. A spiritual journey I guess. Like Smokey's dad said in Friday, "You win some, you lose some, but you live to fight another day." Speaking of weeds, my grandma used to hire my cousin and I to pull all her weeds for her. We spent the whole day clearing her yard. Mind you this is the rez. Weeds can grow as tall as people. Anyways, when it was all said and done, she opened her coin purse and only gave us a quarter. Guess that's a lot of money to her.

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  6. sometimes i also think if stepping on the other side of the fence will make me happier. but the feeling of discontentment is really something inevitable. probably we all need to grow and for us to do that we need to step off our comfort zone and find the person who we really are...

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  7. "...all that has grown so far this week have been weeds."
    Roll 'em and smoke 'em, or bake 'em into brownies and wash 'em down with milk. If you don't the DEA will. :D

    Be sure to blog when the weeds kick in. ;-)

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  8. Hey, not a bad thing to learn how to jump the fences. You'll find the right soil soon enough. ;)

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  9. Maybe a little watering, weeding and subsequent plant food will make your side of the fence just where you want to be? sending you continually good thoughts. hugs and hope everything works itself out for you.

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  10. I LOVE that quote!

    I don't know about that higher purpose thing - but I do think it is always within our capability to create one. It's all about the stories we tell ourselves.

    It's always beneficial to wander through the desert even if you don't notice the benefit whilst in the midst of it. I figure that's the true measure of faith. Faith isn't faith in something. It's simply trust - that inner knowing that all is well no matter how seemingly messed up things seem to be.

    You constantly exhibit that faith. :)

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  11. You're right, it's so crazy how similar our lives are. It's like we're characters in the same book. It's comforting in a way, because I know that I can turn to you (and vice versa). I can't imagine how I could have coped if I hadn't "met" you. Thank God for the Internet. :)

    And I can't wait for you to visit LA. I'm hoping to come out to NYC some time. I'd love to make it to the US Open. :D

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  12. i like that thing about the grass being greener where you water.
    everyone makes mistakes. i have regrets, of course. i'm a big believer in not looking back.
    because i think we do what we have to do in order to survive, to grow, to move forward. and yeah, sometims we might regret our choices, but you know what?
    ...you always have a choice.
    you have a choice between loving and hating, between forgiving and not forgiving, between right or left or right and wrong.
    the choices we make determines who we are.
    i don't know you very well, nova, just from your blog mostly. but i don't think you are a bad person or a poor mother or somebody who can't make good decisions.
    you seem to have a very good head on your shoulders. you're bright, ambitious, you're in love with baby g. you have way more going for you than against you.
    hang in there. good things happen in their own time.

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  13. I bet you, that you will find a four leaf clover on either side of the fence

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