03 September 2008

Missing Moe

I miss you. I miss you more than I would have thought. Has it only been a year since you went away? I still can hear your voice in my head. I remember that I called you the week before you left us. I asked if I could visit you. You sounded so tired.

"Just call me before you come," you said. You had just come home from the hospital and you needed your rest.

"I will," I said.

I never did call you. I got tied up with the baby. I got busy doing other things. I got lazy. I made a promise to myself to visit you the next weekend. It would be Labor Day weekend and I would have had more time to spend with you.

It would be the last time that I would ever hear your voice. The following Friday, after I arrived in Maryland, I received the news that you had passed away.

"It can't be," I said to myself. "I was supposed to see you this weekend."

You left, and I wasn't even there to hold your hand one last time. I wasn't there to tell you how great of a friend you were to me, and how I had always looked up to you when we were kids. I wanted to tell you again how courageous you were to have battled breast cancer for five years, and how you stayed courageous even as you were in remission and you were called a "survivor," only to have it come back, and you fought valiantly, and even as you knew it was God's will to call you home, you told us not to hate God, and your faith in Him never wavered. Most of all, I wish I had been there to just thank you for blessing my life with your friendship. You were and still are an amazing woman and friend.

I miss you, Moe.

9 comments:

  1. she sounds like a strong, wonderful woman. i do believe in the immortality of the soul (at least currently ha) so we can reasonably hope that her soul is still alive and with us. :)

    here's to life and living it til the last breath.

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  2. :-(
    I'm sending comforting thoughts your way.

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  3. :( i have some friends i miss, too. i am older than you. when i was young no one ever mentioned breast cancer. i wonder what they called it then - when did it become such a thief of friends and loved ones? it amazes me how many people are lost to this disease now, one that was generally unheard of 40 years ago.

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  4. Sorry to hear about your friend. :( I know how it is to think about what you could've done better but I guess just take the experience and learn from it.

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  5. i think the parts of the heart that feel empty after a loss are really full of love.
    moe sounds like a wonderful woman, and lucky to have you in her life.
    hugs.

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  6. just sending you another hug today.

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  7. Thanks Nova.

    I'm sure she knows how much you care and love her.

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  8. condolences nova. feel better. she's in a better place.

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  9. She was awesome, ice cream, movies, egg rolls, rice, girl best days of our lives.

    I can't believe u didn't write about the other thing!!!

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