11 October 2006

Mother

I think about her all the time. She is on my mind constantly. She is half-way around the world, but she is always in my thoughts. I try to picture her as she was, a young mother, in a foreign country, with no real emotional support system. My father was always working, and even when he was home, he was of the old school, machismo upbringing, and did not spend much time with us kids. She was the one who was with us always, from first light of day to the last moments before sleep. I often wonder how she learned to be such a good mother. After all, her own mother had died when she was still a baby, and she had no memories of her mother to guide her. She grew up with her father and stepmother, who was a very kind, loving woman, but who was so burdened with ten of her own children that she did not have time to dote upon my mother as she was growing up.

When we immigrated to the United States, my brother and I were still very young. My father worked very hard to support my family and so my mother was often alone when she cared for my brother and me. I try to imagine how life was for her, caring for two young children, in a new country, and with no friends or family to help her while my father was working. Now that I am about to become a mother myself, I think of her and wonder if she was ever scared or overwhelmed, and I wonder how she felt during those years while she raised us. Did she ever feel bitter about giving up her own career goals to be a stay-at-home mother, or did she cherish the time and quality of time that she spent with me and my brother and sister? Like some people were meant to be good doctors or good lawyers, was she just meant to be a good mother?

I only hope that I can be half of the mother that she is.

mom1

21 comments:

  1. your mother is beautiful! and congratulations on soon being a mother... how exciting! based upon everything I've read, there is no doubt in my mind that you'll be a great mother. glad to have you back! we've missed you.

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  2. You'll be better, because you had her example as your guide. You can show your children what it means to sacrifice, but also what it means to go after your dreams and to pave your own way. Wow, sister, you have so much of your mother's features! You're both beautiful.

    ryc: yeah, rough week. Sometimes it seems like it gets easier, but then it seems like we're right back where we've started.

    And yes! Ice cream and a hug heals all things! =) That plane crash wasn't near you, right? I thought about you yesterday.

    Still working on that super busy case?

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  3. Okay, and it's not just me whose profile pic won't show up on the actual page but shows up in the profile?

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  4. Thank you for the heads up! I figured it was within the html, but I couldn't find where before. I found it! :-D

    It's definitely consistency that will be the key to studying. I can't believe I wanted Contracts so bad, and now I hate it! Thankfully, I was called on in that class last night, and it was the funniest case we've read so far this semester -- Favrot v. Barnes (a Louisiana case). It's about a pre-nup that included an agreement to only have sex once a week. The husband found the wife at fault for the divorce because she wanted it 3 times a day!

    Thanks again for the card yesterday. =) So sweet.

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  5. oh, nova! congratulations! when are you due? this is such an exciting time in your life. i hope your pregnancy is an easy one and that you will keep us posted on your journey.

    my mother, too, lost her own mother when she was young. my mother is now elderly and quite ill, 3,000 miles away, always on my mind. so much intimacy exists between mother and child, all our lives. maybe now would be a good time to talk to your mom about the questions you have raised here, to find out more about the inner life she lived as she raised her children.

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  6. You're going to be a Mom??? Wow! That has to be pretty exciting!

    Being a good Mom just comes from being a good person, able to accept the responcibility, and not be too controlling.
    Being a good parent is a selfless act. Knowing that without a good childhood, people never grow up right, or at least it's that much harder cuz we're always trying to get whatever it is that we missed out on as a kid. Like love and trust.
    So good parents are the ones who realize there is the before kids time and the after kids time. Your life changes when you have kids. It is no longer just you.
    You'll be a great Mom!

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  7. I've thought about how my mom became such a good mom too, but then she did have a great mom to learn from. Although my Gran was sick, I really adored her and think of her often still.

    Congratulations on becoming a mom! that's great news, Nova! I bet you'll be a great mom. You certainly have a great start in having a great mom as a role model..

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  8. nova, glad to have bumped here. A very emotional post.
    Congratulation on becoming a mom soon. I think you will do marvelously well. You are asking all the right questions, and it is obvious from the way you talk about your mother, that you had a great example for you to follow.

    good luck.

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  9. First, congratutions on your own pending motherhood. It's the most important thing you could do - to host a child and parent with love.

    The appreciation you show for your mother, the thoughfulness with which you approach life, the commitment you seem to have to those you love and your humour... all lead me to predict you will be a great mother Nova.

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  10. Hi!

    Nice to hear from U sis. Motherhood? Best wishes from gopherland.

    Your mother is just like my mother, who was also first generation immigrant after her and my father divorced, so I know what your mother had to go through in a new-lands. She looks like U! Very beautiful.

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  11. What a lovely tribute.

    Congratulations! I didn't know you were expecting.

    I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mother.

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  12. Being concious of wanting to be a good mother is a good sign meaning you will be.

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  13. Ah, usually when you come to my blog, it means you've written a new post. You fooled me this time!
    Thanks for the kudos on MySpace! To me it's a painfully slow load. The more elaborate, the slower it loads. Maybe it's better with a cable connection. Some MySpace sites are so tricked out that I've fallen asleep and had a pleasant dream before I can use the scroll bar! :)

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  14. ryc: lol...AGREED.

    Have you had any problems posting to beta? Mine constantly times out.

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  15. Wow! You're going to be a mom! Congratulations! This was such a beautiful tribute to your mother. With thoughts and sensitivity like that, how could you be anything other than fabulous?

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  16. I'm slow...
    you're gonna be a mom? that's great!
    did u get my email? I'm just gonna stay in Manila, no Baguio or Batangas. Just Ortigas : )

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  17. Hi Nova, what a beautiful way to express your love for your mother. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Congratulations on your upcoming motherhood. :)

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  18. We are our Mother's Children,,, your mother is beautiful, as you are, and I KNOW you will ROCK as a beautiful wonderful Mother to your own child.
    Off to call my Mother,,, thanks
    scott

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  19. Being a full time mother I would say is the noblest thing a woman can do. Now that I am a mother and I know you would completely understand what I mean your little baby will be born, I think my baby is the most precious thing to me and yes if I can be a full time mother I would love to...Babies, our own babies give us boundless joy and soothes us and give peace. To me now, my whole life and direction is all about our little Megan.

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  20. That's just wonderful news Nova, congrats from Amsterdam! You will do just fine as you seem to have a gift for seeing beautiful things in people. Your child will feel loved and cared for. Take care!

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  21. Ohhhhh mothers....their feet lies the gates of paradise....

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