24 January 2015

Not Enough Snow

“Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.” ~ Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
I knew it snowed last night when I woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of the snow plows scraping the city streets.  I went back to sleep and dreamt of puffy white snow.  I was hoping to wake this morning and roll around in the snow with G, but Mother Nature just cannot seem to churn it out the way that she used to here in New York City.

Only about two inches fell, and looking out of my window now, it looks like it is turning into freezing rain.  I hate days like this.  It's not solid snow where you can go outside and play, and to go outside in freezing rain simply is not fun. We might venture out later if it stops snowing/raining, but for the moment, we are housebound.

Last night, we did manage to make it out to Jackson Heights in Queens where we met a friend for dinner at Black Thai.

I had the garlic shrimp, which was very, very good, but it was just a little too spicy for my tolerance.  After a few bites, I couldn't stop from sweating and my mouth felt like it was literally on fire.

G, however, thoroughly enjoyed her beer-braised crispy ribs.

So today will be a good day to lay around, watch television, read books, and do some light cleaning around the house.  It won't be a complete day though without my [decaffeinated] coffee.  I've become quite the master at making pumpkin spice lattes.

21 January 2015

Beside Me

“Time that withers you will wither me. We will fall like ripe fruit and roll down the grass together. Dear friend, let me lie beside you watching the clouds until the earth covers us and we are gone.” ~ Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body
I dreamt that I was walking on the street with my friend, H. It was a stifling, hot day. The heat was making me very dizzy. I felt myself straining to take the next steps. Sure enough, as I took the next step, I fell down, face first into the pavement. I could not move. My legs and arms were like lead, and I could not even move my face. Fortunately, I had fallen onto the side of my face. H saw me fall, and she immediately got onto the ground and planted herself onto the pavement next to me. She positioned yourself so that she was facing me, and she was smiling, saying that it was a good idea to take a little break from walking in the heat. She did that, so that I would not be embarrassed because people were just standing there staring at me on the ground, and after a little while, I was finally able to get up, stand, walk away, and she and I went along on our merry way.

20 January 2015


“Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.” ~ Gayle Forman, If I Stay

(photo source: Unknown)

I saw this quote the other day and I thought it made so much sense. But then I started to think about it, and I realized that life and the choices we think we are making – it is not that simple.

I can choose to let whatever stays to stay, for whatever comes to come, and for whatever leaves to leave, but what if what comes is not good for me, or that which needs to go, stays, and it is detrimental to me? I realize that most of my life, I have been trying to hang on to those very same people that eventually left me, whether they be lovers, friends, or even family, and those that I have tried to push out of my life, such as the drunken ex, at one time or another, refused to leave. Do we really have a choice? Or do we just think we do? I think that we do not really have a choice as to who God (or whatever powerful entity you deem superior) brings into our life, and that the only thing we can control is how we react to whatever comes our way.

But this way of thinking has made me very non-reactive. I am almost nonchalant whenever I meet someone new. “Eh, if they want to stay in my life, they will, and if they do not, well, then ‘sayonara!’”

Can I really continue like this, to be dispassionate about whatever and whomever comes and stays in my life? Is this really how we are supposed to live our lives?

I guess I’ve been doing it all wrong all along.